Red Sox fan divorces Yankee husband, citing irreconcilable obnoxiousness

The secret to any successful marriage is learning to overcome challenges. For couples entwined in deep ideological disagreement, the need to resist holding grudges and bringing up the past (and sometimes ugly present) is of utmost importance.

Through the brutal dog days of “The Curse of the Bambino” to the glorious peak of World Series redemption, this 46-year old Norwich, Conn., housewife has spent the last 22 years focusing her marriage squarely on the positive.

“I married an imperfect person – and so did he,” she says of husband Rob, son of a New York Yankee fan, a lifelong fan himself and father of their two children. “We’ve had our ups and downs,” Joanna admits.

While they’ve dealt with the setbacks and pain of difficult seasons before, this year has been particularly stressful with the Red Sox never in contention and the Yankees continuing a seemingly annual quest for a spot in the playoffs.

“It’s been frustrating and I never seem to hear the end of it,” she says, “but this year was worse than usual” — pointing to a last place American League East finish by the Red Sox, despite Major League Baseball’s third-highest payroll.

“You have to put a smile on the negative, sweep snide comments aside and overlook the mockery and ribbing because it’s usually done in fun,” she said. “The span of a 162-game schedule dictates that a bad day not interfere with the next, that’s always been key — as a fan and with our relationship.”

Through the storied history of these two iconic franchises, the Sheffield union remained strong. “Until one day in late August, Rob came down the hall — iPhone in hand — laughing hysterically,” Joanna recalls. “I asked him what was so funny, he told me the Red Sox were just traded to the Dodgers.” [referring to the nine-player deal which sent four-time All-Star Adrian Gonzalez, pitcher Josh Beckett, outfielder Carl Crawford and utilityman Nick Punto to Los Angeles in exchange for first baseman James Loney and four prospects — shedding the Red Sox franchise of approximately $260 million in payroll obligations over the remainder of the decade but leaving designated hitter David Ortiz as the lone remaining representative of both the 2004 and 2007 World Series teams].

It hurt, Joanna said, and she admits the sadness of the team’s 2012 failures caught her by surprise. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, Joanna felt alone.

“The team is virtually unrecognizable now. Melancon, Ciriaco, Nava, Lavarnway, Valencia, Lin, Iglesias — are you kidding me? I don’t know who these people are,” she says. “I have a hard enough time enjoying a game knowing Kevin Youkilis is in a White Sox uniform — that’s just wrong — the last thing I need is to be reminded of where we are in the standings. I know where we are in the standings and I try to forget.”

Husband Rob countered by seeking custody of the children and the family’s black lab, aptly named “Fenway.” Lawyers for the couple say divorce proceedings have been heated and, at times, volatile.

Joanna’s attorney paints an unflattering portrait, as Rob became unrelenting in what is described as a “reckless desire to kick Ms. Sheffield while she was down.” Stats and embellishments touting New York Yankees success, carelessly flung through various rooms of the house and serving as a wedge in what was once a satisfying marriage.

So brutal was the verbal abuse, the divorce deposition cites a Labor Day weekend incident when Joanna was folding laundry and Rob dropped the name “Bucky Dent” into a conversation for no reason whatsoever.

“He forced it,” she said. “There was no call for that.”

Rob tells a different story, saying that after the Red Sox won the second of two World Series titles in 2007, it was Joanna and Boston fans who became obnoxious.

“Talk about your bandwagon fans. Vanity license plates, patio flags, door mats, key chains, hats, clothing. Red Sox everything — and pink, what’s with all the pink? The green St. Patrick’s Day stuff, I can understand,” he said. “Where was all this silly crap when they were losing? Nobody wanted a part of it then. They finally win, what, once, twice — whatever — they finally win a title and now everyone wants to show they’re not a loser. Well, guess what? Look at the standings. Where’s your pink hat now?”

Sports psychologist B.J. Murphy explains a fundamental difference between the two fan bases lies in a difference in expectations.

“Yankee fans feed on victory and are uncomfortable, to the point of not knowing how to handle losing. Finding the process unfamiliar, they tend less to internalize failure, overlooking the value of the learning experience because they assume it’s only temporary,” he said. “Red Sox fans are all about the learning experience, all too familiar with the frustration and toils of defeat, therefore the confidence gained from winning once becomes far more gratifying than doing so 27 times. It’s very much a quality over quantity argument.”

Joanna agrees. “Try waiting 80-plus years between titles and thinking that maybe — maybe — this might be the year. Then when you finally win, it means something — 2004 was everything. The kids were too young to understand but I wanted them in front of the TV when it happened, mainly because my father and grandfather never got to see it. I never thought I would.”

Three outs from being swept in the 2004 AL Championship Series, Boston began an improbable comeback, defeating the Yankees in four straight to become the first team in major league history to overcome a 3-0 postseason series deficit. The Red Sox went on to “reverse The Curse,” sweeping St. Louis to clinch the team’s first championship in 86 years.

Memories of Bill Buckner, Aaron Boone and, yes, Bucky Dent, erased in an instant. Viewed as the greatest post-season collapse in sports history, the balance of American League power shifted from the Bronx to Yawkey Way and inside divided homes, such as the Sheffield’s, a geological fault had broken new ground. The events of the 2012 season seemingly restored the Bronx Bombers as the “Evil Empire” and the fiercest rivalry in sports is renewed, as strong as ever.

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