High school kid asks porn stars to prom on Twitter, gets two to say yes. Now comes the difficulty, having to tell one she’s his fluffer. — Dirk Dachs (@SoapyJohnson) March 23, 2012 More from “THE TWITTER COLLECTION …” >> Follow: @SoapyJohnson on Twitter. >> Comment: Place it on Lucky Dan on Facebook.
JULY 21, 2012 — According to Wikipedia, 60 years ago today, Neil Armstrong landed at Woodstock and Charles Manson killed him. — Dirk Dachs (@SoapyJohnson) July 21, 2012 More from “THE TWITTER COLLECTION …” >> Follow: @SoapyJohnson on Twitter. >> Comment: Place it on Lucky Dan on Facebook.
Outside is a downpour. Inside, a cellphone rings. He grabs it. Top-speed, leaping from the dull light of the laptop screen, over the couch he goes to the sliding glass door — the one spot he’s found with reception in this mother of outdated concrete condos. Adhering to the glass like Spiderman, hoping to get as close to a […]
A friend’s now-husband called my now-wife “cancer girl” due to her short haircut. Looks like karma paid him back with some really ugly kids. — Dirk Dachs (@SoapyJohnson) May 30, 2012 More from “THE TWITTER COLLECTION …” >> Follow: @SoapyJohnson on Twitter. >> Comment: Place it on Lucky Dan on Facebook.
Fact: On the day of the Boston Marathon, the population of Kenya is zero. — Dirk Dachs (@SoapyJohnson) April 21, 2012 More from “THE TWITTER COLLECTION …” >> Follow: @SoapyJohnson onTwitter. >> Comment: Place it on Lucky Dan on Facebook.
Either dogs and cats have no pubic hair or they’re all pubic hair — Dirk Dachs (@SoapyJohnson) April 21, 2011 More from “THE TWITTER COLLECTION …” >> Follow: @SoapyJohnson on Twitter. >> Comment: Place it on Lucky Dan on Facebook.
I find that when I’m drinking, I don’t make better or worse decisions but I tend to make a lot of them. — Dirk Dachs (@SoapyJohnson) June 3, 2011 More from “THE TWITTER COLLECTION …” >> Follow: @SoapyJohnson on Twitter. >> Comment: Place it on Lucky Dan on Facebook.
Gunman opens fire: At least 12 killed, 71 injured at Aurora, Colo,. theater Of course, the left calls for stricter gun control. Of course, the media is quick to blame the Tea Party. We déjà-vued this before. Haven’t we done this already? —————> This time, the killer was also Rush Limbaugh, the gunman’s actions attributed his way […]
Body of a man discovered in blue, curbside recycling bin in South Los Angeles. Police say body should’ve been placed in green, curbside bin. — Dirk Dachs (@SoapyJohnson) February 7, 2012 More from “THE TWITTER COLLECTION …” >> Follow: @SoapyJohnson on Twitter. >> Comment: Place it on Lucky Dan on Facebook.
Eyes still dilated from doctor’s appointment. More light entering brain than usual. Finally remember where I left my scarf. — Dirk Dachs (@SoapyJohnson) July 20, 2012 More from “THE TWITTER COLLECTION …” >> Follow: @SoapyJohnson onTwitter. >> Comment: Place it on Lucky Dan on Facebook.
