HIM: What’s his wife think of that? HER: She’s not thrilled. HIM: I can see that. HER: Especially when the girl is still in college. He gets all — HIM: She’s what?? HER: Yeah, she’s like 19 or 20. She’s in college — a sophomore, I think. HIM: And he’s? HER: Forty-one, two kids — […]
Chinese restaurant. ME: I’ll have sweet and sour pork. WAITER: Please order by number. ME: Okay, number 14. WAITER: Ah, sweet and sour pork. — Dirk Dachs (@SoapyJohnson) August 13, 2012 More from “THE TWITTER COLLECTION …” >> Follow: @SoapyJohnson on Twitter. >> Comment: Place it on Lucky Dan on Facebook.
Previously ……… The starting point: Vol. 1 — Every thought is with the kid ARCHIVES: Follow Lost kittens find their way home. Updates to follow. — Vol. 4 — Thursday, May 24, 2012 … For two people who didn’t want to go out (and I wasn’t planning on drinking), we drank angry. Jules was feeling no pain […]
Previously ……… The starting point: Vol. 1 — Every thought is with the kid ARCHIVES: Follow Lost kittens find their way home. Updates to follow. — Vol. 3 — Flash forward — Two events which compelled me to face the keyboard again, after finding it so difficult. Tuesday night, May 22, 2012 … “Mountain lion killed in […]
I was just offered a six-figure deal to write a novel about my success story!! No clue where I’m going to come up with that type of money — Dirk Dachs (@SoapyJohnson) April 21, 2011 More from “THE TWITTER COLLECTION …” >> Follow: @SoapyJohnson on Twitter. >> Comment: Place it on Lucky Dan on […]
The formulas of Pabst which failed to win blue ribbons must have really been shit. — Dirk Dachs (@SoapyJohnson) June 3, 2012 More from “THE TWITTER COLLECTION …” >> Follow: @SoapyJohnson on Twitter. >> Comment: Place it on Lucky Dan on Facebook.
Previously ……… The starting point: The Unemployment Chronicles, Vol. 1 — Vol. 5 — A week later … I had a dream where I stumbled upon these really cool rocking chairs at a Costco in Pakistan, brought them over mountains with the aid of a 900-pound mule and a old Sherpa who helped transport […]
This bottle of Frangelico looks a lot like the guy who raped my friend Jerry. twitter.com/SoapyJohnson/s… — Dirk Dachs (@SoapyJohnson) June 26, 2012 More from “THE TWITTER COLLECTION …” >> Follow: @SoapyJohnson on Twitter. >> Comment: Place it on Lucky Dan on Facebook.
“There is a moment in every relationship when one of the parties senses its imminent demise. There’s a moment of incredible clarity when your stomach drops with a heavy sense of dread, and you feel like control is slipping through your fingertips even as you try to hold on.” — Allison Winn Scotch, The Department […]
Homeowners Association, the development gestapo. “Zis tree. Ver iz your permit? And zeez pavers. Zoo need approoooval for zee pavers!” — Dirk Dachs (@SoapyJohnson) August 2, 2012 More from “THE TWITTER COLLECTION …” >> Follow: @SoapyJohnson on Twitter. >> Comment: Place it on Lucky Dan on Facebook.
