I’d hate to be Stanley too

Stanley is a reptile this woman either slept with seven years ago, he hit it and quit it — OR — she had plans to date the lizard and it stood her up. Not a pretty picture however you look at it.

To still be this worked up, it goes without saying that Stanley must have been an incredible lover. That she recognizes him from behind, I don’t even want to go into that. Seeing as a gecko would most likely remember an encounter of this magnitude and our boy didn’t, it’s likely the date never happened.

Is the Geico Gecko that good a liar?

It can not be believed that this woman lives in a climate indigenous to lizards. First off, the pale skin; second, picture her lounging on the patio in New Mexico and constantly lashing out, thinking she was wronged.

It gets old.

If we’re to believe that men are reptiles, we later learn the Geico Gecko is Stanley and the company replaces him as spokesman because he lied in front of his boss to save his job.

We obviously are to understand that there are other talking geckos out there, Stanley included, and they tend to look alike. At least one of them is from Toledo, and — from the sounds of it — he’s an asshole.

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