Monday September 26th 2016

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The Lord Of The Rings: One Ring Spinning Black Ring And Display Case By Noble from Warner Bros.

The Lord Of The Rings: One Ring Spinning Black Ring And Display Case By Noble from Warner Bros.
$58.46
Possess the magic of the One Ring with this spinning black finish stainless steel version inspired by the films. This ...

DC Comics Super-Villains Poker Set

DC Comics Super-Villains Poker Set
$99.95
Ante up with The Joker, Bane, Black Atom, Ultraman, Harley Quinn, Power Ring, and Bizarro for a game of 7-...

Wizard Of Oz Dorothy And Toto Fleece Throw Blanket from Warner Bros.

Wizard Of Oz Dorothy And Toto Fleece Throw Blanket from Warner Bros.
$54.95
This Wizard of Oz blanket features a whimsical two sided design; one side shows Dorothy and Toto and the other, ...

Random Products

DC Comics Super-Villains Poker Set

DC Comics Super-Villains Poker Set
$99.95
Ante up with The Joker, Bane, Black Atom, Ultraman, Harley Quinn, Power Ring, and Bizarro for a game of 7-...

The Lord Of The Rings: One Ring Spinning Black Ring And Display Case By Noble from Warner Bros.

The Lord Of The Rings: One Ring Spinning Black Ring And Display Case By Noble from Warner Bros.
$58.46
Possess the magic of the One Ring with this spinning black finish stainless steel version inspired by the films. This ...

Wizard Of Oz Dorothy And Toto Fleece Throw Blanket from Warner Bros.

Wizard Of Oz Dorothy And Toto Fleece Throw Blanket from Warner Bros.
$54.95
This Wizard of Oz blanket features a whimsical two sided design; one side shows Dorothy and Toto and the other, ...

What's on tap:

AND THEN THERE’S THIS …

The Daily Horoscope

The Daily Horoscope

Aries: (March 21 - April 19) -- Get acquainted with superiors at work. Mix business and pleasure with vodka and tonics and stroll up the corporate ladder. Find a better use for that gazebo. Taurus: (April 20 - May 20)-- Urinate in public. Try something you've never done before or again as if it's the first time. Use your gift of [...]

Recession fortune cookies

Recession fortune cookies

New fortune cookie messages have been popping up in Chinese restaurants throughout the United States and several have resulted in complaints, even calls for government action. It's estimated that the brand of wisdom contained in 1 out of every 20 of the nation's fortune cookies is actually foreign indoctrination designed to further [...]

A kid gives his dad a tie …

A kid gives his dad a tie …

A kid gives his dad a tie for Father's Day. Dad says he already has a few hundred of them already and suggests giving it to someone who might need one. The kid talks a walk, sees a jogger and flags him down in the middle of the street. He gives him the tie and says "Happy Father's Day." Jogger says he isn't a dad. "Why would you [...]

Friday Lawsuit Attention Grab

Friday Lawsuit Attention Grab

Place it on Lucky Dan introduces a new segment -- the Friday Lawsuit Attention Grab, or "FLAG." In today's edition ... Tom Cruise touched his first breast yesterday. It belonged to a transgender named Donald. Tom needed a step stool to reach it and the experience lifted him above Operating Thetan Level VII. Now letteth the cease [...]

To see the look on their faces

To see the look on their faces

Materials required: One (1) plastic grocery bag Procedure: Walk down the sidewalk Stop and sniff a mailbox or two (optional) Make sure someone is watching as you approach an open plot of grass Remove pants and defecate on said plot Pull up pants Remove plastic bag from pocket Scoop contents with bag, turn bag [...]

Non-inspirational childrens books

Non-inspirational childrens books

"You'll Never Amount to Anything" "The Little Engine That Could ... NOT!!" "Sometimes Mommy Drinks" "Bucky the Train has Lost his Caboose" "Where Uncle Tony's Wild Things Are" "Clearcut Giving Tree Forest" "Green Eggs Only (Ham not in budget since Dad got laid off)" "Blueberries for Salmonella: How cross-contamination can kill [...]

Note to Poker Face

Note to Poker Face

(Mum mum mum mah) (Mum mum mum mah) Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun. Yeah, no kidding. (I'll get him hot, show him what I've got) A bunch of dudes sitting around a table pointing index fingers at their temples and yelling "bang" lacks the same sort of intensity as, say ... The Deer Hunter. Let's [...]

Alexander Graham Bell, typesetter

Alexander Graham Bell, typesetter

The purpose of a business card is to exchange contact information. Two hundred years ago, this would have been where you lived or worked, a note to remind people of your address in the promotion of your business. It's been widely believed that Alexander Graham Bell had a less-than successful business card company and invented the [...]

Things I didn’t like about True Grit

Things I didn’t like about True Grit

Some of the dance numbers were contrived. Hard to focus on the story when every 15 minutes, Rob Schneider would cheer: "you can do it!!" While hilarious, the bloopers during the ending credits were out of place. Matt Damon's character continually telling the men he was about to shoot that he also plays Jason Bourne. Less [...]

UrbDic: Organic Profiling

UrbDic: Organic Profiling

Place it on Lucky Dan's 2nd entry in the Urban Dictionary: ORGANIC PROFILING -- The ability to better seek out terrorists using race demographics pointing to historical probability but doing so in a manner characteristic with natural growth and evolution. The administration looks to pursue an organic profiling style as a means to [...]

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