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What a racist might say …

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“I thought that his election would promote racial healing in the country; it would be a tremendous transformation of attitudes. And instead . . . now I consider him one of the most racially divisive and polarizing figures ever. I think it will take years to undo the damage he has done.”   — Camille Paglia, Obama supporter in 2008, voted Green Party in 2012

Americans are racists again. Let not the momentary post-election pause fail to remind who you really are, or lull you into a false sense that it isn’t still there. Many of you are bigots and voted accordingly, highlighted by the map above.

Greetings from the New Civil War.

All of you in red, you’re racists. The people in blue say so.


Elections have consequences and a Barack Obama victory bought a 7-day/6-night holiday from bigotry, shoehorned into words and partial syllables that defy reason.

Does it always have go there? Apparently it does and it’s insulting to actual racists when an asshead like Chris Matthews lashes into 50 shades of dog whistle at the mention of words like “apartment,” “Chicago,” or “food stamps.”

He should talk to somebody, it’s getting a bit uncomfortable.

Mathematically, the problem is when a red county person mentions someone in Chicago with food stamps in their apartment — an alarming triple-negative to a blue county person. While two-thirds of the perceived racial hatred cancels out, the 33% that remains is still 100% racist.

Leave it to Matthews, with skin the shade of cellophane noodles — the whitest man south of Edgar Winter’s tour bus — to deem vile intent from ordinary words. Why so easily offended? There’s an overload of unnecessary effort in the sale.

Real racists use the word “nigger” in a sentence, they don’t speak behind veils using asterisks or calling it the “n-word,” and they most certainly don’t say: “I want to rope that apartment guy and hang him from a tree.” Actual racists don’t sugar-coat, they’d say, “If Chris Matthews was black, that coon would be the spearchuckerest nigger we’ve ever seen — that’s how white he is.”

Who’s blacker than Chris Matthews? Everybody.

That’s what a racist might say …

“Mr Obama – who famously ran in 2008 as the post-racial candidate – has polarised the nation racially in a way that it has not been for half a century, reversing what had been the progressive trend toward real social integration and colour blindness in American political life.”
—  The Daily Telegraph, Nov. 10, 2012

If there’s anything we learned from the 2012 campaign:

  • A Mitt Romney victory would have been characterized as America returning to 1860;
  • MSNBC’s post-mortem of an Obama defeat would have racism on the minds of every member of the election night panel;
  • The actual narrative explaining how and why Obama lost would be a mystery, undermined by the easiest explanation available;
  • Twitchy.com would exceed bandwidth for several years, reposting vile tweets blaming everything on Stacey Dash;
  • Time Magazine’s Person of the Year would be the American people, wrapped in a Klan robe.

We’d never hear the end of it.

Not whether we’re a nation of racists, but how many generations would need to pass until our ballot box repudiation of the United States’ first black president absolved itself into being about anything except skin color?

“Shame on you, America.”

We’d be reminded daily on the news, Must-See TV, Rolling Stone articles, Jay-Z lyrics, HBO docudramas, Oliver Stone films, speeches by Eva Longoria. Whew, we dodged a few serious bullets there, count your blessings!

Welfare” is a codeword. Racists don’t use codewords, it offends them.

The theory behind the dog whistle is, if you’re the only person hearing discrimination, you’re the dog.

Summer of 2012 — One of Paul Ryan’s past girlfriends is black and the people making the biggest fuss are the ones who aren’t racist; #negrospotting is a thing at the Republican National Convention, while networks eliminate broadcast time to minority speakers in order to promote the caricature; it’s racist to oppose Barack Obama but not racist to oppose Mia Love or Allen West.

“Put y’all back in chains” speaks to having been, the audience, at one time previously, captive on the Amistad. It defies physics to return to a place you’ve never been, else “put you in chains” is more in line. Sure, write it off because Joe Biden said it and he never knows when he’s speaking to a predominantly black audience, but maybe he thinks he’s Nipsy Russell and can get away with that. Either way, not racist.

Calling the presidentlazy and disengaged” after his lazy and disengaged first debate performance, that’s racist.

We learned the “Niggerization of Obama” meant that suggesting the president plays “golf” (FACT CHECK: he does), in reality was a super-sly comparison to Tiger Woods and not, say, Vijay Singh.

It’s true — Barack Obama golfs constantly, can’t keep his dick in his pants and was attacked by his gorgeous Norwegian wife when she learned of the affairs and came after him with a short iron. (FACT CHECK: Four Pinocchios). (FACT CHECK: She’s Swedish). (FACT CHECK: “Pinocchios” is racist).

Mitt Romney, it’s said, ran one of the most racially-charged campaigns in the history of American politics. Unable to shake his reliance on imbedded racial coding, after the election, suggested Obama used “gifts” to sway voters. Is Romney incapable of reigning in his unconscious hatemongering or is it just Mormons in general? What type of motherf*cking honkey-ass cracker rolls like that? Fool.

The post-election bliss and holiday from prejudice took a muddy crap in a filthy rest area exactly one week after the election, when Paul Ryan congratulated Obama’s turnout in “urban” areas. Overlooking the reference possibility to Australian country singers, Chris Matthews skips the courtesy flush and leaves without washing his hands. Somebody else needs to light a match.

Flip the map, Chris. See how you like it … not a pretty sight, is it?

Color doesn’t matter, is the lesson. But to be careful, it was withheld until after the election that the number of Americans on food stamps surged to a new all-time record, because the number “47.1 million” is divisive and inflammatory.

Sure, not everyone in “racist” counties harbors these feelings and some racists voted for Obama but with true bigots, you don’t have to go fishing for a bendable phrase. Racists, homophobes, anti-Semites, they tell it like it is.

Where was the Mitt Romney speech that went something like …

I understand African-Americans who press for reparations but what I don’t get is this: Yes, your ancestors were taken from your native Africa but they were brought to America — at no expense to them, I might add. Put yourself in their shoes and your shoes today — where would you prefer to live? Savannah or Sudan? Charleston or Chad? Everyone’s better off! As a descendent, all I hear is Monday morning quarterbacking. As bad as the methods were that brought your great-great-grandparents here, they got you a better life in this country and parents are instinctually willing to die in order to secure that for their children. Their forced sacrifice brought you to the best nation in the world, where opportunities exist that to this day don’t and never will in Africa. Here’s another way to phrase it, “you’re welcome!” [drops mic].
That’s what a racist might say …

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