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Dog Waste Vacuum

Dog Waste Vacuum
$99.99
If you love dogs but hate scooping up behind them, check out the cordless rechargeable Dog Waste Vacuum. Its powerful ...

Adirondack All Weather Laptop Table

Adirondack All Weather Laptop Table
$79.99
Take your office outside with the convenient Adirondack All Weather Laptop Table, created as functional add-on to our Adirondack ...

Harley Quinn Pint Glass

Harley Quinn Pint Glass
$12.95
This Harley Quinn pint glass holds 16 ounces of your favorite beverage and is sure to be a hit at ...

My brother is having an affair

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HIM:  What’s his wife think of that?

HER:  She’s not thrilled.

HIM:  I can see that.

HER:  Especially when the girl is still in college. He gets all —


HIM:  She’s what??

HER:  Yeah, she’s like 19 or 20. She’s in college — a sophomore, I think.

HIM:  And he’s?

HER:  Forty-one, two kids — newborn. I’m really looking forward to my visit, should be interesting. Guarantee he’ll be pissy, it’s parent’s weekend. He gets all mopey when she’s not around.

HIM:  Yeah, but that’s understandable, he misses her. How often does he go there?

HER:  A few times a month.

HIM:  And arranges that how?

HER:  His visits?

HIM:  It’s a four-hour drive? How do you justify all the trips?

HER:  He says he’s off to scout a project. Denise isn’t dumb, she just didn’t have any hard evidence.

HIM:  She does now?

HER:  There were rumors they were having an affair at work.

HIM:  Well, they had the summer. So who caught them?

HER:  Nobody, but —

HIM: You’d have to have video, else it’s just gossip.

HER:  They found a condom on the floor in the breakroom — they were the only two in the building, before you say “that could have been anybody’s.” I know you.

HIM:  Yeah, well that could have been, like, maybe he had a deep paper cut on his thumb and needed to protect his coworkers from getting HIV after he used the vending machine. Didn’t want to leave blood on the lever.

HER:  And he needed to wear a condom for that?

HIM:  That’s why they say to wear a condom, don’t want to spread HIV.

HER:  They make little finger condoms for that.

HIM:  Maybe he has a larger thumb than most people.

HER:  He doesn’t. Besides, he doesn’t have HIV.

HIM:  Partly because of his efforts to not spread the disease.

HER:  Stop sticking up for him.

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