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The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies Azog Adult Black Hoodie from Warner Bros.

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Looney Tunes Pint Glass Four Pack Set from Warner Bros.

Looney Tunes Pint Glass Four Pack Set from Warner Bros.
$34.95
This set of 4 16 oz. collector's series pint glasses features your all-time favorite Looney Tunes characters: Bugs, ...

Set Of Three Harry Potter Collectible Wands By Noble from Warner Bros.

Set Of Three Harry Potter Collectible Wands By Noble from Warner Bros.
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Buy all three Harry Potter wands together and save! This set includes authentic replicas of Harry's, Ron's, and ...

Madonna endorses Mitt Romney

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I have a tale to tell
Sometimes it gets so hard to hide it well

Madonna used to be so much better at keeping secrets. Back in the flamboyant days when people wanted her to rip her clothes off and expose her tender lady parts, she actually held it in. She lived to tell the secret.

People change during the heat and importance of a presidential campaign but — some 25 years later — one constant is the ability to learn so much from one another by sharing, dropping bombshells, communicating our deepest confessions.

Whether this means swearing like a sailor, punctuating every emotion with an f-bomb or references to fecal expulsion, it’s all in the eye of the beholder — or ticket holder, at Verizon Center in Washington, DC, earlier this month.

Like a Gallagher concert, the best seats are usually under the tarp.


Celebrity revelations are, at the very least, TMZ-worthy. At best, they show a guttural journey that can take the girl out of the country, but can’t take the country out of the girl. In this case, the country is Britain, or whatever accent Madonna happens to be using today.

This is really nothing new. Entertainers and performers have long been known to dive head-first into political waters and sometimes make waves larger than expected.

If you remember, during the second Grover Cleveland administration, the late 19th century was inundated with cultural references deemed unseemly, none more widely regarded than when entertainer Fanny Brown accidentally (or possibly not) took a dump on the chest of the sitting president, thus giving the birth to the Urban Dictionary. Look it up, I’ll wait.

So leave it to Madonna to blow the lid off any questions concerning whether today’s President “Barack Obama,” (if that’s his real name) may or may not be Muslim — or, as many suggest, known to sometimes dabble in the occasional Boston pancake, with permission (of course).

Not since Doris Day uncovered journal entries — now in the Dwight D. Eisenhower presidential library — exposing the former General as an angry pirate aficionado and Dirty Sanchez frequenter, has an entertainer blown the lid off a sensational story of such a highly secretive and personal nature.

Que Sera, Sera (which is German for performing a Hot Karl and/or rusty trombone on a glass bottom boat).

Which brings us back to Madonna’s recent endorsement.

Maybe in 2008, Madge wasn’t ready for the fall, too blind to see the writing on the wall. Four years ago, here’s how the Material Girl justified her love for Obama at her November 4th concert (two days after the election) at Petco Park in San Diego.

“This is a historical evening. This is a motherfucking important evening and we are lucky to be sharing it with the world. This is the beginning of a whole new world. Are you ready?! Are you fucking ready?!”
Granted, she was only 50 at the time so she’s possibly since cleaned herself up, matured. Flash forward to the present, September 23, Verizon Center.
“And now it is so amazing and incredible to think that we have an African-American in the White House. Y’all better vote for fucking Obama, OK? For better or for worse, all right, we have a black Muslim in the White House! Now that is some shit. That is amazing shit. It means there is hope in this country.”
Look, I’m not going to deny someone their feelings on what the shit is or isn’t, sometimes the shit just is what it is — it’s the shit, there’s no denying it. But where was this news during the last presidential election?

A man can tell a thousand lies
I’ve learned my lesson well
Hope I live to tell
The secret I have learned, ’till then
It will burn inside of me

And so, in a nutshell, went the vetting of then-candidate Barack Obama, in 2008.

This story should be causing a commotion. When the media relies on the Queen of Reinvention to offer a ray of light on what 12% of Americans — identical percentages of Republicans and Democrats — already believe, that, indeed, really is the shit.

Sure, many will write these comments off as silly, unimportant, ill-informed or just straight up baffling. Or maybe it’s deep understanding from someone who would know. After all, Obama has lately been spending more time with celebrities than policy makers or world leaders.

It’s nevertheless a disturbing image, watching a former sex symbol transition with added years and mileage — aging DNA fighting the muscular skeleton of a grandmother, while the mind still insists it dress you up like Katy Perry. You see a lot of these people at Walmart.

Madonna wasn’t done. Refusing to take a bow after divulging her secret,  she removed her shirt and pulled down her pants to reveal the name “OBAMA” written in all capital letters across her lower back.

“When Obama is in the White House for a second term, I’ll take it all off,” she threatened, effectively endorsing Mitt Romney — because, let’s be honest, nobody has any interest in seeing that anymore.

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