Friday December 9th 2016

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Exclusive Personalized Hufflepuff Quidditch Robe Youth Jersey Style T-Shirt from Warner Bros.

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Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows - Part 1: Hermione's Necklace from Warner Bros.

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows - Part 1: Hermione's Necklace from Warner Bros.
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Gays love cows, hate chickens

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Oh snap, people are freaking out again. Somebody said something, people reacted and now lookout — two sides pitted against each other, gay Hatfields and straight McCoys. Or vice versa, if you’re gonna be in a snit about it.

Places all.
Bow to your corner, bow to your own.

People should keep their opinions to themselves and none of this would ever happen. Stop talking to anyone the moment it looks like they might be forming a thought. Don’t ask questions. Just walk away.


Nobody needs this.

Temporary conflicts dissipate. Eventually, somebody else says something and that something replaces this something as the single most inflammatory something a person has ever said or done. Turn, turn, turn … A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time for Chick-fil-A Chick-n-Strips®, and a time to maybe try one of those new Wendy’s salads instead.

The debate plays out — a deeper wedge dividing two camps — which is disappointing because both Chick-fil-A and the gay community are made up of good people. There’s no reason everyone can’t learn to live with one another under the same red awning. After all, isn’t that what tolerance is all about?

Promenade across the floor,
sashay right on out the door.
Out the door and into the glade,
and everybody promenade.

IN THIS CORNER: Prominent business owner with religious beliefs inclining him to not open on Sundays, speaks out frequently in support of and donates in large amounts to groups (like the Family Research Council) which seek to maintain traditional marriage initiatives.

AND IN THIS CORNER: Gay and lesbian communities which find said views and actions incendiary, insensitive and not respectful to diversity.

No question, but who says they need to be?

If we’re being completely honest, it’s possible to simultaneously support gay marriage and Chick-fil-A’s right to an opinion. It’s possible for homosexuals to not support gay marriage. It’s also possible to be gay and work at Chick-fil-A, just don’t expect to hold your wedding reception there.

To value diversity, one must also value the right (in this case) of a company president who disagrees with you — it’s what being part of a community is all about. We don’t all have to look or act the same but we need to think the same way? Our differences are what make us whole. If we all agree, what is diversity?

BOYCOTT!!

Whoa, slow down. This is what I’m talking about. First off, this food in America — keep expectations on the down-low. Threaten the delivery of caloric intake anywhere along the supply chain in these 50 United States, be prepared for pushback and less than spectacular results.

The question is not whether the chicken in the sandwich was gay or straight, the problem is it’s moist and tender goodness, golden-fried perfection. Boycott that? I don’t think you ready for this jelly.

You ever have a Chick-fil-A sandwich? And the waffle fries? Don’t take it from me.

Thanks, Antoine.

Reactions have become predictable and the best laid plans backfire miserably. It’s become a cartoon — where it goes unnoticed that the jukebox has been unplugged and a rabbit with a fiddle is leading the square dance call, directing both sides to beat the living hell out of one another. Within a brief sequence of steps, a feud escalates and already heated passions take hold of each other’s beard to the musical rhythm. It’s highly entertaining and quite hilarious.

Now into the brook and fish for the trout,
dive right in and splash about.
Trout, trout, pretty little trout,
one more splash and come right out.

As we learned, defenders of Chick-fil-A more than recovered losses from the boycott [on Aug. 1, the chain — with over 1600 restaurants in 39 states — broke a daily sales record with seven hours left in the day] and the LGBT community was exposed as needing a better scouting plan of its opponent. Chick-fil-A supporters are much of the same crowd that made a Kirk Cameron movie the highest grossing independent film of 2008 — Kirk fucking Cameron!

Do I have your attention now?

They had to see this reaction coming, and doesn’t this hurt the poultry community the hardest? In fairness, Chick-fil-A didn’t invent the chicken, just the chicken sandwich. I suspect LGBT groups will say the intent was to save chickens, therefore the underlying question becomes — if the media wanted to actually report it — why are gays advocated the slaughter of cattle under the guise of marriage equality? How many cows need to die in the name of gay rights?

Why didn’t this work?

LESSON #1: You can’t boycott something delicious. Unfortunately, now the owners of Cheesecake Factory, Poquito Mas, In-N-Out Burger, Krispy Kreme, Five Guys. P.F. Chang’s and Cinnabon are highly aware of the freedom to speak their minds on any abrasive topic they see fit. Good going, everybody.

In June, Nabisco posted a gay pride Oreo picture on its Facebook page, quite possibly the coolest looking cookie ever made. Many of the same people now eating 12 servings of Chick-fil-A each day were then threatening to boycott Nabisco because they’d never been so offended. Turns out the cookie doesn’t exist, it was a Photoshop fantasy. Same with the Oreo boycott, it fizzled.

Grab a fence post, hold it tight,
womp your partner with all your might.
Hit him in the chin, hit him in the head,
hit him again, that critter ain’t dead.

LESSON #2: Most of America’s mayors are idiots. People didn’t line up in record numbers at Chick-fil-A because they were necessarily for traditional marriage or against gay marriage — they were fueled to support a business under scrutiny by mayors who were basing decisions on ideology, intimidating economically and threatening the rights of a citizen to express an opinion under the First Amendment.

Thomas Menino of Boston was first to cock block, and when he realized what a terrible precedent this would set — to subject all incoming business to an ideological test — he quickly “clarified.”

Rahm Emanuel jumped in, also stepped back. With violent crime numbers placing the Windy City as a more dangerous vacation spot than the war in Afghanistan, one would think a restaurant opening would be the least of Chicago’s concerns. Add Philadelphia, which considered a resolution condemning Chick-fil-A.

Edwin Lee cried foul, tweeting: “Very disappointed Chick-fil-A doesn’t share San Francisco’s values and strong commitment to equality for everyone,” adding “Closest Chick-fil-A to San Francisco is 40 miles away and I strongly recommend that they not try to come any closer.”

That’s right, it took this episode for the mayor to recognize the difference in value systems between San Francisco and a company that trains employees to focus on principles rooted in the Bible.

All Democrats, one could argue that these mayors sold more chicken then any ad campaign. Brilliant!

Womp him low and womp him high,
stick your finger in his eye.
Pretty little rhythm, pretty little sound,
bang your heads against the ground.

LESSON #3: The media is not your friend. Sally Quinn of the Washington Post has the answer, suggesting, “make the restaurants the gay hangouts of the community. Gay partners and married gays could begin taking their children there. They could start having birthday parties for their kids. They could have gay pride events there. (They have an events manager – just call). They could even have gay weddings there.”

And this does what? Chick-fil-A has already established they not only don’t discriminate in terms of hiring and service to the customer, the company is certainly capable of accommodating all this extra business. It’s an issue over lawful marriage, not cooties.

The stories steered the argument away from traditional vs. gay marriage, into areas specifically designed to incite emotions. Because the owner of Chick-fil-A doesn’t think gays should get married, this doesn’t mean he hates them or wants them to die.

Thanks, Lexi. A rainbow can only be formed with sunlight, it’s true.

LESSON #4: Stop doing what the rabbit tells you to do. Both partners shouldn’t need music to see that beating up on each other is senseless.

Corporations support same-sex marriage and are heralded to the point that it’s no longer newsworthy, while similar statements in favor of traditional marriage are alarming, considered bigoted and homophobic. Not all opposition is hate. Demanding tolerance while not offering the same, is the very definition of intolerance. It’s a two-way street.

Labeling these words is hate speech only proves the point.

At the root of tolerance is the ability to drive past a restaurant or cookie aisle you dislike, for whatever reason, and not let it ruin your day.

The answer? Open your own chicken franchise, build an empire and speak out on whatever issues you please. Well, not necessarily, but use your stature in the community as a platform and donate to causes you believe in. Fight to preserve your rights and the rights of others but understand that not everyone agrees with you, no matter which side your on. Bottom line, be kind and respectful to one another and think through every situation before reacting.

“The suspect in Wednesday’s shooting at the Washington, D.C., headquarters of the Family Research Council, was carrying 15 Chick-fil-A sandwiches in a bag when he opened fire, according to the criminal complaint filed by the Justice Department on Thursday.”Yahoo News

Yeah, you’re right. Screw it.

And now you’re home.
Bow to your partner.
Bow to the gent across the hall.
And that is all.

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© 2012, Soapy Johnson. All rights reserved.

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