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Party with Scooby and the gang with this Mystery Machine 16 oz. pint glass! Hand wash is recommended.

Humbling makes time for tequila

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Previously ……… The starting point: The Unemployment Chronicles, Vol. 1

—  Vol. 2  —

A few days later …

I went to a staffing agency, mainly to find out where it was, stake it out. I’m already expecting to learn that every restaurant I have my eye on isn’t even considering hiring. I picked some of the best ones — if I’m going to do it, I’m going to do it — but why would anyone leave that job? Even if you’re not totally into it, you ride it as far as you have to. They must have waiting lists, plus I don’t have my restaurant gameface yet.

So I figured a staffing agency could find alternatives while I gather the ambition to enter one of these establishments and see if they’re hiring, when all I really want to ask is the direction to the bar.


On the way, I hear a guy on the radio, our age. Says he’s always worked 60 hours a week since he was 15. Several jobs, whatever it took. Now he’s unemployed, unable to find work. Willing to do anything, can’t find it. He’s thinking of starting a business but I’m already ahead of him on that end and know the potential isn’t what it used to be. I was so inspired, I decided to go straight home, check out the agency online. Turns out that’s how they want you to apply anyway.

I’ve learned the “apply online” thing is so they can more easily tell you “no” by not even bothering to respond. I’ve been applying for the last 10 days, probably 25 jobs. No reply — I might as well be texting Gandhi.

I gave it some thought and figured the only people who aren’t concerned about bottom line and are hiring employees they don’t need are in government. I checked state and local, found some nice salaries but nothing in my repetoire. Which brings me back to my restaurant list. Going to a few this week.

Can’t immediately say I could do the the job anymore. I forget little things all the time now and I always have dreams where I’m back in it, taking a table’s order but then neglecting to do anything about it. Maybe 20 minutes go by, the customer gets angry, tracks me down and I greet them like it’s the first time I’ve seen the table. Then I wake up.

It would take time to consolidate steps properly and re-program my brain for that type of efficiency. Everyone should have to, by law, wait on tables for at least one month in their lifetime. It would drastically improve the way people think and interact with one another.

CJ was let go today — no severance, fuckers. I’ll be back in the trenches. Definitely will have no qualms now.

Not sure if we can survive here long term. All of CJs work connections are in SoCal, ugh.

Scary, but we’ll be okay for awhile. Insurance for the girls is the biggest thing.

Oh shit. Does she at least get unemployment?
They “let her go” on good terms, nothing personal. But that’s still a euphemism for “fired.” They were looking for cap room. We saw it coming.

I’m going to have to get crafty, none of the restaurants here are hiring. Actually asked to see the GM or manager at one place and the hostess said they only do applications online, like you said. Was hoping to talk my way in. Online they’re not hiring.

So we went to Costco and bought tequila. She’s really upset. Four+ years and they make up shit to cut her salary. BUT … gotta stay focused. Problem is our house is worth more during the summer due to the foliage. We’ve got a few weeks left. I’ve got some retirement stock — so does she (401k) — but we’re screwed if we can’t find something to cover insurance and the mortgage in a couple months.

Sucks that the only opportunity is in Cali and then it’s not even the opportunity you two would truthfully be looking for. Normally I’d say tequila isn’t the answer but we’re getting to a point where it’s one of the only things that makes sense. Liquor, gold, canned goods and ammo — all anyone will ever need.
About to escort CJ to the office to box up her stuff.  She deserved better. She was doing her job and doing it well. Fuckers. They won’t contest the unemployment, so that’s good. A little is better than nothing. I see this as a blessing actually, there was no future there. They pulled the same thing last year and we hung on until now. I’ve gotta do something anyway. With the kids back in school, I’d rot. I hope I can find something to get us through the winter.  She deserves a break and an opportunity to collect unemployment. I’d gladly get anything for her to enjoy that — so far, I’m 0-for-3.

Filling out an application for a 5-star hotel. Ten years of employment history, drug tests. Christ, if they vetted the president this closely. Drinking my last shot before driving her over. I’ll start cashing out shit tomorrow.

The next morning …

I didn’t see your name in the news so I you assume you didn’t go postal.

Nothing for me today, have to polish my resume and keep an eye on Carlisle (day after the neuter. Poor little guy, he loved those balls). Out tomorrow with my tail between my legs, seeking a job I don’t wish for and probably isn’t offered — as opposed to positions I’m overqualified for, but I never hear back from anyone because I applied for them online.

Yeah, rough night. We’ll be okay for awhile, but long term we’re screwed. I’m terrified that I won’t be able to find something, but I’m trying to be stoic and positive around CJ. Mostly she’s devasted at how they turned on her. I’m beyond stressed. Trying to hold it together.

Got called in for a “supervisor” position at the hotel. Stage one interview. My heart sank when I saw the number register on the phone. Damn! Look, I need a job to feed the kids and keep the house, but I certainly never imagined coming back to my hometown and working as a glorified bar manager. It’s very, very corporate. So I’ve got to clean up a bit.

Ummm, which dew rag should I wear? Silk?

Repeatedly drop the N-word in the interview, but say that it’s okay because that’s what the other rappers do. Then do that beat-box sound and drop some rhymes while you do the robot dance. Do you have a fake gold tooth?

Both girls in school, my job, as it were, is finished. I look in the mirror upon my return from dropping them off and realize we all have grown-up. They begin their quest for “careers,” I begin my quest for a “job,” most likely  restaurant work that may not even be available — something I could have accomplished sans six figures worth of education.

CJ is so organized that she pulled out an Excel spreadsheet with all bills and money going in and out, down to the penny. Four years worth, unbelievable. She has it down to a science, the Treasury Dept. could use her. Anyway, she predicted when we’d be out of money.

Freaked me out.

To be continued (link below)
  • 6.2 million or 44.6 percent of the unemployed have been looking for work for 27 weeks or more. The average length of unemployment was 40.5 weeks in September 2011. It is the longest average period of unemployment since the statistic was first recorded in 1948 — U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics

ARCHIVES: Follow The Unemployment Chronicles.

Next chapter: Vol. 3 — You’ve the right to remain silent

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