Saturday March 25th 2017

Search Store

Random Products

Cobalt Recycled Glass Lamp

Cobalt Recycled Glass Lamp
$299.00
Created from 100% recycled glass Cascade of cobalt blue White cotton shade 3-way switch 100 watts 8' cord Waves ...

Hand-Hooked T-Shirt Rugs

Hand-Hooked T-Shirt Rugs
$299.00
Made by fair trade artisans in Cambodia Hand-hooked and hand-rolled premium floor covering Designed with reclaimed cotton t-...

Burnout Tie Top

Burnout Tie Top
$46.00
Unique cloudwash burnout print Made with low-impact dyes Flattering V-neck design Spaghetti string tie ¼" elastic at cuff ...

Random Products

Hand-Hooked T-Shirt Rugs

Hand-Hooked T-Shirt Rugs
$299.00
Made by fair trade artisans in Cambodia Hand-hooked and hand-rolled premium floor covering Designed with reclaimed cotton t-...

Cobalt Recycled Glass Lamp

Cobalt Recycled Glass Lamp
$299.00
Created from 100% recycled glass Cascade of cobalt blue White cotton shade 3-way switch 100 watts 8' cord Waves ...

Burnout Tie Top

Burnout Tie Top
$46.00
Unique cloudwash burnout print Made with low-impact dyes Flattering V-neck design Spaghetti string tie ¼" elastic at cuff ...

Crackas: Search & replace

Facebook Twitter Reddit Digg Pinterest Linkedin Tumblr Stumbleupon Delicious Plusone Email

There’s a lot of racism going on. Who’s more racist, white people or black people? It’s white people! You know why? Because white people hate white people too! Everything black people don’t like about white people, white people don’t like about white people. It’s like their own personal civil war.

On one side, there’s white people. On the other, you’ve got trailer trash. The crackas have got to go. I love white people but I hate white trash.

Tired of rednecks. Tired, tired, tired. You can’t have nice stuff when you’re around trailer trash. You can’t have a big screen TV! You can have it, but you better move it in at 3 in the morning because crackas will break into your house.

Hillbillies who live next door come over the next day and go, “I heard you got robbed.” Cracka, you know you robbed me.


You know the worst thing about white trash?

Crackas always want credit for some shit they’re supposed to do. They’ll brag about stuff a normal man just does. They’ll say something like, “Yeah, well I take care of my kids.” You’re supposed to, you dumb motherfucker. “I ain’t never been to jail.” Whaddya want? A cookie? You’re not supposed to go to jail, you low-expectation-having motherfucker!

Now the politicians are trying to get rid of welfare. Every time you see a welfare story on the news, you always see the inbred hayseeds. Hey, white people don’t give a fuck about welfare. But trailer trash are shaking in their boots: “They gonna take our shit.”

I know some white people are thinking: “Man, why do you have to say that? It ain’t them, it’s the media. The media has distorted their image to make them look bad.” Please, cut the shit, okay? When I go to the money machine at night, I ain’t looking over my back for the media. I’m looking for crackas! 

Written by Chris Rock (also here and here)

Changed: us to them; our to their; white to black; black to white; the N-word to a variety of defamatory albino-leaning identifiers.

>> Follow: @SoapyJohnson on Twitter.

>> Comment: Place it on Lucky Dan on Facebook.

© 2011 – 2013, Soapy Johnson. All rights reserved.

Facebook Twitter Reddit Digg Pinterest Linkedin Tumblr Stumbleupon Delicious Plusone Email