Saturday October 25th 2014

Search Store

Random Products

Batman Black & White Earth 2 Batman Statue By Nicola Scott from Warner Bros.

Batman Black & White Earth 2 Batman Statue By Nicola Scott from Warner Bros.
$79.95
Based on the designs of fan-favorite artist Nicola Scott, The Dark Knight of Earth 2 enters the world of ...

HEPA-Odor Cell Filter for the Allergy Air Purifier

HEPA-Odor Cell Filter for the Allergy Air Purifier
$89.99
Replacement HEPA-Odor Cell Filter for the Allergy Air Purifier. Combines three layers of filter technology to purify the air ...

2 Watch Winder

2 Watch Winder
$199.99
Your favorite watches are always wound and ready to wear with the 2-Watch Winder. A carbon fiber interior sets ...

Get on the mailing list ...



Random Products

Batman Black & White Earth 2 Batman Statue By Nicola Scott from Warner Bros.

Batman Black & White Earth 2 Batman Statue By Nicola Scott from Warner Bros.
$79.95
Based on the designs of fan-favorite artist Nicola Scott, The Dark Knight of Earth 2 enters the world of ...

Longitude Heatwave High Neck Tank Swimsuit

Longitude Heatwave High Neck Tank Swimsuit
$69.00
Style 3042; Full powernet tummy control lining smooths and flattens; High neckline provides full coverage and additional bust support; Print ...

Pink Eiffel Tower L/S Hooded Onsie 1148-S-2287

Pink Eiffel Tower L/S Hooded Onsie 1148-S-2287
$136.00
Brand new for fall, a onesie pj in our signature Eiffel print, with a drawstring hoody and pearlized buttons- 95% ...

Crackas: Search & replace

Facebook Twitter Reddit Digg Pinterest Linkedin Tumblr Stumbleupon Delicious Plusone Email

There’s a lot of racism going on. Who’s more racist, white people or black people? It’s white people! You know why? Because white people hate white people too! Everything black people don’t like about white people, white people don’t like about white people. It’s like their own personal civil war.

On one side, there’s white people. On the other, you’ve got trailer trash. The crackas have got to go. I love white people but I hate white trash.

Tired of rednecks. Tired, tired, tired. You can’t have nice stuff when you’re around trailer trash. You can’t have a big screen TV! You can have it, but you better move it in at 3 in the morning because crackas will break into your house.

Hillbillies who live next door come over the next day and go, “I heard you got robbed.” Cracka, you know you robbed me.


You know the worst thing about white trash?

Crackas always want credit for some shit they’re supposed to do. They’ll brag about stuff a normal man just does. They’ll say something like, “Yeah, well I take care of my kids.” You’re supposed to, you dumb motherfucker. “I ain’t never been to jail.” Whaddya want? A cookie? You’re not supposed to go to jail, you low-expectation-having motherfucker!

Now the politicians are trying to get rid of welfare. Every time you see a welfare story on the news, you always see the inbred hayseeds. Hey, white people don’t give a fuck about welfare. But trailer trash are shaking in their boots: “They gonna take our shit.”

I know some white people are thinking: “Man, why do you have to say that? It ain’t them, it’s the media. The media has distorted their image to make them look bad.” Please, cut the shit, okay? When I go to the money machine at night, I ain’t looking over my back for the media. I’m looking for crackas! 

Written by Chris Rock (also here and here)

Changed: us to them; our to their; white to black; black to white; the N-word to a variety of defamatory albino-leaning identifiers.

>> Follow: @SoapyJohnson on Twitter.

>> Comment: Place it on Lucky Dan on Facebook.

© 2011 – 2013, Soapy Johnson. All rights reserved.

Facebook Twitter Reddit Digg Pinterest Linkedin Tumblr Stumbleupon Delicious Plusone Email