Monday December 18th 2017

Search Store

Random Products

Superman Caped Pint Glass from Warner Bros.

Superman Caped Pint Glass from Warner Bros.
$14.95
This 16 ounce Superman pint glass comes with a removable cape! Although the glass is dishwasher safe, hand washing is ...

Batman: Arkham City Mr. Freeze Statue By Dave Cortes from Warner Bros.

Batman: Arkham City Mr. Freeze Statue By Dave Cortes from Warner Bros.
$149.95
Time to chill! Based on the video game Batman: Arkham City and the art of Dave Cortes, this action figure ...

Green Arrow Pint Glass from Warner Bros.

Green Arrow Pint Glass from Warner Bros.
$12.95
This Green Arrow pint glass holds 16 ounces of your favorite beverage and is sure to be a hit at ...

Random Products

Green Arrow Pint Glass from Warner Bros.

Green Arrow Pint Glass from Warner Bros.
$12.95
This Green Arrow pint glass holds 16 ounces of your favorite beverage and is sure to be a hit at ...

Batman: Arkham City Mr. Freeze Statue By Dave Cortes from Warner Bros.

Batman: Arkham City Mr. Freeze Statue By Dave Cortes from Warner Bros.
$149.95
Time to chill! Based on the video game Batman: Arkham City and the art of Dave Cortes, this action figure ...

Superman Caped Pint Glass from Warner Bros.

Superman Caped Pint Glass from Warner Bros.
$14.95
This 16 ounce Superman pint glass comes with a removable cape! Although the glass is dishwasher safe, hand washing is ...

I’d hate to be Stanley too

Facebook Twitter Reddit Digg Pinterest Linkedin Tumblr Stumbleupon Delicious Plusone Email

Stanley is a reptile this woman either slept with seven years ago, he hit it and quit it — OR — she had plans to date the lizard and it stood her up. Not a pretty picture however you look at it.

To still be this worked up, it goes without saying that Stanley must have been an incredible lover. That she recognizes him from behind, I don’t even want to go into that. Seeing as a gecko would most likely remember an encounter of this magnitude and our boy didn’t, it’s likely the date never happened.

Is the Geico Gecko that good a liar?

It can not be believed that this woman lives in a climate indigenous to lizards. First off, the pale skin; second, picture her lounging on the patio in New Mexico and constantly lashing out, thinking she was wronged.


It gets old.

If we’re to believe that men are reptiles, we later learn the Geico Gecko is Stanley and the company replaces him as spokesman because he lied in front of his boss to save his job.

We obviously are to understand that there are other talking geckos out there, Stanley included, and they tend to look alike. At least one of them is from Toledo, and — from the sounds of it — he’s an asshole.

>> Follow: @SoapyJohnson on Twitter.

>> Comment: Place it on Lucky Dan on Facebook.

© 2011 – 2012, Soapy Johnson. All rights reserved.

Facebook Twitter Reddit Digg Pinterest Linkedin Tumblr Stumbleupon Delicious Plusone Email