Monday August 21st 2017

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Women in the men’s room

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This needs to stop.

We know you need to go. WE need to go. Why else are we standing in this line? The lure of public restroom odor? We don’t envy you and the majority of us are glad to accommodate. How many times are you ever turned away?

You don’t want to be here either — we get it — but we have to. We can’t stand in your line. There isn’t a chance that can happen, no matter how badly our bladders are about to explode or how cute you think we are. A man stands in a long line of ladies and security is called before he successfully reaches one of your toilets.

We’re faster at this — nature gave us urinals and the ability to use them. We’re happy to pee in a bucket and get back to our seats but that doesn’t change the point that privacy is privacy and you wouldn’t want the situation reversed.

Your line is longer, understood. We don’t know what takes you so long in there. We don’t check our hair or even look at ourselves in the mirror. We assume we have mirrors in here but honestly don’t hold us to that. We don’t spend a lot of time here, we’re in and we’re out. We mainly want to exit the room without anything wet getting on us.


We don’t mind you crashing our party because we love women and appreciate your current needs but this is hardly the cozy sanctuary we’d like you to expose you to now and be judged by later. This is worse than a messy apartment. I’ve been to concerts where the floors were so repulsive, I felt like Jesus but let’s just say I wasn’t walking on water. It’s a very few bad apples who can’t control their urine stream but this is still us as a gender at our worst and you have a women’s room labeled specifically so you don’t have to see this. We don’t want to see this.

Management could install more facilities for you and why didn’t they? But is it really their fault?

Don’t tell me you don’t dawdle. We’ve seen how fast you’re capable of urinating in a men’s room — you reach the stall and you’re running out the door in less than a minute. You can’t get out of there fast enough.

If you’d take that philosophy and put it into action in the ladies’ room, I don’t think we’d be having this conversation.

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