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Sunny day, sweepin’ jugs away

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Katy Perry’s playdate with Elmo has been relegated to the internet, after parents complained her outfit was too sexy for pre-schoolers. The video (seen below) will not be broadcast on PBS this fall and has been pulled from the Sesame Street website.

She’s worn far more revealing outfits, for certain, but Sesame Street’s an all new playhouse. She is what she is, you know what to expect when you book Katy Perry.

The outfit was reserved by her standards and closer to appropriate than, say, this. I’m not the parent of a preschooler but at the same time, what were they expecting? If the thinking is that hiding her inside a turtleneck would not somehow also lead to complaints is to drastically underestimate the boobage in question.

The address may no longer be Sesame Street but Katy’s will always be an untamed road nestled between two giant mountains of awesome.


This story hits close to home because the official policy of this website has always been that there’s never such a thing as too much cleavage. It’s one of the few bits of actual policy we’ve ever written down and adhered to, based solely on the life-saving capabilities of a larger cup size when a bra is turned into an emergency respiratory device.

In addition, Katy Perry maintains our open invitation as a guest columnist — including Reddi-Wip refills and an endless selection of “Hot n Cold” teas for her pleasure while she crafts her piece — providing her article devotes at least 75% of its content to a character study of her outstanding breasts.

I use “breasts” as a focal point in a story about Sesame Street and it’s not vulgar or out of place because school officials in Helena, Montana wanted that same freedom — to use words like “penis, vagina, breast, nipples, testicles, and scrotum” when teaching classes as early as kindergarten. This too sent parents of pre-schoolers into a tizzy and rightfully so.

Last week, the school board revised the curriculum but that doesn’t mean I’m going back and deleting “boobs” and “breasts” from this story. In fact, I may mention them again if I can find a way.

Meanwhile, Elmo (and the majority of the Sesame Street cast) runs naked through the neighborhood without anyone seeming to mind or notice. I’d add that even though we can’t see it (and not to be a spoiler), someone’s hand is clearly shoved up Elmo’s bottom. There’s a slang word for this act and I’d rather you look it up yourself.

This is hardly the biggest controversy in Sesame Street history and Elmo has been in the news before. Incidentally, Tickle Me: Bert and Tickle Me: Ernie dolls were marketing failures because the toys insisted on only tickling each other.

A little history from Wikipedia … “Elmo is the only non-human or puppet ever to testify before the U.S. Congress. At the request and with the assistance of Rep. Duke Cunningham, he testified before the House Appropriations Subcommittee on Labor, Health and Human Services and Education in April 2002, urging support for increased funding in music education.”

I repeat: The testimony of a puppet was specifically requested. This should tell you everything you need to know about Congress.

Boobs.

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