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Batman 1:6 Scale Figure By Sideshow Collectibles from Warner Bros.

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Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber + Cow

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In what might be classified either as a waste of perfectly good steak or a highly erotic slow-roasting process, Lady Gaga continued her mindf&*k with PETA executives on Sunday — accepting the MTV Video Music Award for Video of the Year in an outfit that was later a huge hit at the Wolfgang Puck afterparty.

In light of recent accusations that Lady Gaga is manufactured and has lifted her style from Madonna and others, The Beatles might want a take on this one. At least they wore shop coats. The Red Hot Chili Peppers famously wore socks on their meat but I assure you that was something entirely different.

The “Bad Romance” singer fired both barrels at the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals just a few days earlier, disturbing a seemingly equable relationship — Gaga is a vegan and PETA had approached her to pose nude as part of its “Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur” campaign last summer. By appearing on the cover of Japanese Men’s Vogue magazine in a beef bikini, most were shocked and somewhat horrified to learn that Vogue actually publishes a magazine geared strictly towards men in Japan. Staying on topic, the frowning animal rights group naturally frowned.

How is it so quickly assumed that the specific animal involved in whatever comment PETA is speaking to was tortured? Maybe this happens to be the one that slipped and fell on the whirling bone saw and it all happened so fast but it can’t always be the case. Just once could it be admitted that the possibility existed where the animal (for example, the one featured adorning Lady Gaga’s naked body) was rubbed daily with mineral oil, fed the finest grains and might very well have been loved beyond comprehension — dying a most glorious death in that it was so very uncharacteristically painless?

Maybe once, just for fun?


Not an overwhelming PETA smackdown of Gaga in Round One because you get the feeling they kinda still want to make this thing work. Which makes it all the more interesting that Cher presented the award. Much like the scene in Moonstruck which won her the Oscar, she sees the need to double-slap Nic Cage even harder because he just isn’t getting it, exactly as Lady Gaga double-slapped PETA on Sunday to say there’s much more to her side of the story. Gaga needed to wake the organization up to the fact that the two of them are, indeed, in a bad romance. I have no evidence whatsoever to support this theory.

When Gaga fired the second round, she proved beef isn’t only what’s for dinner, it’s seemingly no longer a fashion faux pas to wear black angus after Labor day. The dress was real, which can be verified by Laurie Ann Gibson, who Gaga hugged upon winning the award, as well as the Nokia Theatre workers enlisted to remove stains from a cloth chair.

Second response and of course PETA has to play the maggot card, she’s pushed them too far. Flies would be more of an actual concern in the theatre, on the night in question. If PETA spokespeople ate meat, they’d know this. Maggots wouldn’t set in for days.

If meat is such a no-no, where was the beef (rimshot) with Lady Gaga’s second outfit of the night, made entirely of leather and of such an exaggeratedly unnecessary amount that it took two handlers to assist her up the stairs? I’d remind PETA that leather is the other side of the cow — the outside. I posed this question to PETA and will update with their response.

If Gaga shows up to the next event seeking balance, she’ll wear a potato outfit made of 50 strategically placed russets but you’ll only be able to count 49. Would this too be considered a highly erotic slow-roasting technique or gross mistreatment of a tater? Would PETA be 98% happy with the outfit?

It should also be pointed out that Justin Bieber performed Sunday with leather sleeves on his jacket, plus he lip-synched his performance and this has been proven to give off methane. No response from PETA. It’s difficult to tell if his sleeves are actually leather or some sort of subdued vinyl but the main reason to bring this up is to mention Justin Bieber’s name for the purposes of web traffic. Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber.

********UPDATE********  SEPT 24, 2010 — No response from PETA.

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